Sunday, April 29, 2007

Family

Family. Often we seem to think of family as the people who are biologically connected to us. Those who share a name, a history, or a culture. This perception of family is rampant in our reality...it is promoted, advertised, and even deemed necessary. It is the belief that you are part of a group that is somehow separate from the other "groups" throughout the world. It's a comfortable perception surely, but is it really what is?

As a body this perception is absolutely vital...it is a way of answering the question "Who am I?" or "Where do I come from?". But as a consciousness....things are a little different.
True, it's very reassuring to know that there are certain people that absolutely care for you and love you...it's nice to know that those people we deem as "family" will always be there for us. It's an ego boost...a way of feeling important to someone else. But is this always the case? Unfortunately no.
Often our feelings of resentment or even disappointment come from the fact that this concept, which we have been told over and over again is the way things should be, is not the way things are. Sometimes we are abandoned, ignored, taken advantage of, or even used as a crutch for those who are supposed to understand us the most....those who are supposed to love us unconditionally often have conditions for that love. We are often "disowned" for something as simple as a different life choice...we are shunned because we choose to look at life a little differently, we choose to follow a different path, or even simply because we value different things.
Why? Because the concept of family is an ego-based concept. It is a belief that the body is more important than the consciousness that drives it. It is the belief that we are connected by blood and history...not by our awareness of self.
In being One entity the fact is that we have no family and that we are all family. "Family" doesn't even begin to describe how we are all connected...and in letting go of the concept we let go of the belief structure behind it. When we let go of our ingrained preconceptions of family we begin to see that those who are biologically connected to us are the same as everyone else...we lose our expectations of them...we accept that they, like every other reflection of your "self", have the right and ability to do and think anything they would like to. They are not under any illusionary responsibility to accept your life, the changes within it, or even your choices...they are under no contract.
Without the concept and preconceptions of a biological "family" we are faced with the realization that everyone has the right and ability to choose. They can accept you or not...they can relate to you or not...they can share with you openly or focus on their own needs and wants. If we all have this ability then there is no reason to separate us simply based on our last names or blood type...in fact there is no need to separate us at all. If blood is what is important...we all have it. If we truly must have a Family...then we are all part of it. The questions "Who am I?" and "Where do I come from?" can be answered quite easily....you are us and we are you, we come from each other. We are one....value all of us, treat us equally and expect nothing. I will do the same for you.

Your brother, sister, father, mother, son, and daughter,

Me

11 Comments:

At 8:31 AM, Anonymous Mark said...

Excellent article. Agreeed, we are all interconnected and the concept of "Family" is ego based and causes as much damage as it does good. We know as we get older, many people become much closer to us than our biological family further demonstrating that some of the precepts of a biological family are fabrications of our ego and not our reality. Our family is not limited to our recent biology.

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Sophia said...

Hi Me,

I enjoy this opportunity I have to talk with myself. :)

Anyway, I know that apologies are not necessary when I am talking to myself, but I just wanted to voice that I am sorry I haven't visited this blog of mine in a while. The other part of myself has been busy. Also, this part of myself wants to read the book that the other part of myself wrote.

Whew... talking like that is hard! It's a shame that it's difficult to voice what really should come natural.

Your post today really hit home with me because something that I have been struggling with is coming to terms with the truth that my spirituality differs from my father's. It also differs from my mother's, I just know that she'd be more accepting of the choices I've made in life. I keep quiet about my spirituality when in conversation with my father because he wouldn't understand. Sometimes I wish my family would be as accepting of my choices as I am of others' choices. It's not upsetting to me that we differ, it's just a little discouraging that I can't be open with them. That's why it's nice for me to extend my family through the use of the blogosphere, where I can reunite myself with brothers I have like you.

 
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At 10:16 PM, Blogger mitzh said...

This post speaks right through me.

 
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